But I read them enough that I absolutely appreciate the numerous SVH satire and recap blogs out there, especially Margo Rising and The Dairi Burger. And I seriously still hope to find a book that I somehow missed, where perfect Elizabeth and her wimpy boyfriend Todd "Wizzer" Wilkins (seriously! his nickname!) get their comeuppance.
But for now, I guess I can anticipate a new SVH book coming in 2011, "Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later," in which the twins are 27, having life issues (Elizabeth had a bitter break-up--PLEASE LET IT BE WITH TODD -- and Jessica is actually getting a divorce), and hating each other. You can sign up to read the first chapter here. (They'll mail you a link, but you can't copy or print it. However, as the CNN blog says, I can attest to the fact that the excerpt uses the word "orgasm" twice -- in reference to Liz, even!)
And of course, the awesome "Juno" screenwriter (and Oscar winner, and former Minneapolis stripper) Diablo Cody is writing the SVH big-screen movie. Please be better than the TV series. I have faith in you, Diablo! You too love the 1980s! Do us proud.